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Disaster #6 on Easter Sunday.

I attempted to bake a cake on my own and it was a complete and utter disaster. For posterity I took a picture of it (photoshopped to accent my simile in the next sentence). It was like a beautiful chocolate hill when the dough rose and suddenly it became a volcano raging like mad and collapsed and all that's left is a molten lava.

I changed an ingredient, I put in Splenda sugar instead of confectioner sugar, so it would be senior-citizen-friendly. So fuck it, I've just proven baking is a science and not an art where I can go ballistic and be creative on the ingredients. 

Lesson learned + Next Steps: Bake another carrot cake!

The Collapse of Domesticity.

I don't know where the moon is facing now, but the goddess of anything related to household must be turning its back on me.  Before I drill down on the specifics of these...these...problems...no..DISASTERS (!) which are happening left and right, top and down, east and west, 360 degrees in every direction, know that I am not a house person, I am OC at everything else except cleaning my house, maintaining the house, fixing the house, anything related to domesticity. I stay at my house because of three things only: a) To research on the next adventure 2) To recharge and do my newfound love which is cooking (more like experimenting! Yeah, i fit the stereotype! A woman! Cooking!) 3) to watch The Buzz.

First Disaster: I defrosted my refrigerator and water overflowed at the back near the compressor. Shit. I cannot even move the fridge to take out the water container as it will spill through the socket. I wish I bought an automatic defrost fridge, I wish I did, even if it's not an environmentally sound choice. To heck with it, what kind of refrigerator is this, this is just too much work and so, so...high maintenance. I do not expect to do this every three months when my freezer cannot be closed because it's like arctic minus the global warming up there. I'm contemplating of getting a maid but that idea does not exactly match my independent lifestyle. I know I can do this, but gawd, it's just too much to worry and there's a  high possibility of death by electrocution. Jeez, to die that way, while defrosting, how incompetent.

Second Disaster: Globelines disconnected me, what a piece of fucked up service they give me and then they disconnected my internet without notifying me.  Background: I called to complain because for two months now I cannot call international because the unlock phone pin feature is not working (I did not even lock it, it's just so fucked up, I could not even understand this feature), and issue #2: I cannot call AT&T's toll free number 105-11. It's needed for work and I know I am able to call that number when I was at Makati, and I also was a Globelines user then. So I told them if it takes you forever to solve my issues and I'm not getting the value of the 2,000 pesos I pay you every month, might as well cut this line. They told me they will notify me with my request to cut the line.  My plan was to have it cut once I have contacted PLDT, but guess what the geniuses at Globe did? They cut the line without informing me. Kumagat, pinatulan ako. Bad trip. You do not ever cut the line without notifying the customer. I called customer service and the 1-hour vitriolic conversation was one for the books.  I think I jumped from complaining, then lecturing, then training the customer service what I want to hear, then jumping back again to ranting about their worst customer service and being hilariously apologetic like so: "it's not you, it's your suckity suck suck company." and then back again to "you are like the worst customer service on the planet!"

I researched and PLDT offers 2,700 pesos (landline + 2Mbps - it's really 2Mbps at our area!) compared that to what I have now with Globelines of which I pay 2,000 pesos (landline + a very very fake 2Mbps, more like 1Mbps - 1.5Mbps) + my two issues above.  If you were me, what should you pick?

UPDATE: Globelines called to say they will reconnect me.  Papatol ba ako sa mga to? Pride!!!! Two issues remain open though.  Dahil siguro cheapo ako (saving for upcoming trip), baka patulan ko sila.

Third Disaster: Car cover got torn by my ever fashionable (sharp sarcasm please) jeans which has a zipper style at the back pockets. So much for fashion, whenever I get out of the car, the car cover goes with my butt, yes, crazy, I'm going leather next time. Leather on the car, not on me. 

Fourth Disaster: Sink has a leak.

Fifth Disaster: I lost my newly bought coleman cooler, never used.

And then I stopped counting. I'm so spent. Gods of Optimism, don't mock me please. I need my chi back. Although, many good things have happened too ;). But it's just so therapeutic to write about these disasters. It's like channeling my inner Polpot or Hitler or Bush. It's like drinking a cold Coke in the middle of a heat wave. It's like inhaling my sprayer, when I'm turning blue and gray of asthma. Can you believe I wrote this post so fast it even surprised me? I'm a ranting artist. Feels good, feels good.

The Zen of Christmas Shopping.

I figured out The Truth with capital Ts. Any new age / positive thinking / The Secret mantra may not work during Christmas shopping. 

What is it about me that 10 hours of shopping at a bazaar of 10,000 stores (okay, lower the brows, it's maybe around less than a thousand) can not make me check at least 30 percent of my items in my recipients' checklist? 

I took a whole day off and dragged Mels with me to bazaar-hop and guess what, we almost wept when we got home -- tired, bruised, hungry, dirty and worst of all, bigo.  All we got for ourselves were each an over-sized red bathrobe, courtesy of export overruns from Gap daw.  I have no goddamn clue why I bought that bathrobe, my house is as big as a shoe, why do I need a bathrobe for? I will simply blame Melissa, who upon seeing the robe, almost jumped with boundless enthusiasm to a point of clapping her hands, which made me believe that damn fur cloth was The Buy of the Season.  Please don't hate me when you receive a big red robe this Christmas, come to think of it, it's a great costume! Just buckle in a wide black belt and off you go, Santa Claus. Impersonate the Man of the Season, how about that.

Sometimes, I'm not quite sure anymore whether it's my Libran sensibilities or my over-rated so-called unperfect perfectionism that's making it hard for me to decide what are the best gifts to give. I thought I had the answers with bazaars being put up all over town - it is usually a dig of unexpected finds.  So far, except for teeny weeny bits of stuffs, it has been a disappointment. I really have high expectations, I want a place where I can get stuff that can be seen in movies like Captain Jack Sparrow's pirate hat, or Pan Labyrinth's monster creature stuff toys, or Edward Scissorhands' wig -- and each should not cost more than an arm and a leg. One time there was a clock posted on the internet with numbers moving instead of the hand. Who would not light up seeing those?

Last weekend, I saw this rather cool magic pen where you write this invisible ink on your skin and you backflip the pen to switch a special kind of light to view the ink. Very useful in um, say restaurants when you have to divide the bill with your friends and there's no paper around, um, yeah, that's useful. At first, I was excited, this will overrule all the aroma candles and mugs and fruitcakes anyone has ever received! It's like a tempered down James Bond gadget! And then the salesperson told me, "Ma'am, mabenta samin to. Ma'am bili na kayo, yung empleyado sa BPI bumili 300 pieces kahapon. "

My heart stopped beating and now again, I'm back to square one.  What to give that people will appreciate and not get multiple copies of? Or should I give and not mind whether people will appreciate or not, because isn't it after all a season of giving and sharing yourself to another?  What the fuck is wrong with me, why do I have to go postal and analyze the stress of gift giving?

I'm giving myself a deadline, if by mid-December I have not completed my checklist, I will pass the yuletide cheer then to Starbucks gift certificates. I posted this so all you dear people would know the loving and herculian effort that came along with it, hahaha! Happy Christmas!

 

Listening to: Jeux D'Eau - Cirque De Soliel and any songs of Rey Valera. Stress buster!

And they did it again.

Globelines, my Internet Service Provider just kills me.  I'm a paying customer of 1,995 pesos since 2005 for a download speed of 768Kbps, and as far as I remembered it that's the max speed they offered me  for a 2k pesos budget.  My connection was running pretty slow just this midnight and upon testing my broadband speed, I'm clocking in 538kbps. I checked their website and to my surprise I chanced upon the news that Globe is offering: for a max 2Mbps download speed, you pay a price of -- hold your breath -- 1,995 pesos. 

Can you believe this people? I've been paying the same amount of money and I've gotten a lesser value for my moolah.  I checked my bills and there's no announcement at all that I should be able to avail the faster than lightning 2Mbps.  Pangungurakot talaga, I have to channel all  my energy and zen self control just to maintain my chi.  Why can't Filipino-run companies be like Amazon.com (I know people who complained of defective dvds and they get a new copy immediately no questions ask and also Amazon even offered a refund for their customers who pre-ordered Harry Potter 7 which promised to be delivered on the day of launching, but got delayed due to UPS), or Citibank (I recently called them to ask not to charge me for the annual service fee of a supplementary card that was not used and they simply just canceled the charges, again no questions asked) -- both runs on trust and integrity and values their customer like no other.

Hayy, why do I always compare? It's difficult if you have experienced a level of quality that you are used to with some companies and you expect the same with others.  But why the hell not? As customers, shouldn't we always get our money's worth? I expected them to mail me about the new package -- or even print it out in my monthly bills.  If you think about it, Globelines could offer me a choice:   Pay less than 1000 pesos for 768Kbps or pay the same monthly bill of 1,995 pesos but increase broadband speed to 2Mbps.  This kind of communication that informs the customer value to what they are paying and gives the customer the power of choice.

I called Globelines' customer service and they said I can only 'upgrade' by going to Globe Payment facilities.  I asked why can't I do it via phone, it's not like I need to pay additional, I just want my money's worth.  They need my signature daw, and I asked -- Signature for what? You just verified my identity here and besides, again, it's not like I need to pay additional money. 

Security in all the wrong places, god damn it . I asked Rowena (customer service personnel) when did they deploy that package of 2Mbps for 1,995 pesos. She said since November 15, 2006.

Oh man, it kills me. I requested to speak to her manager and she said, "Nag-memeeting po Ma'am."  At 12 midnight? "Tawag na lang uli kami Ma'am." Gawd.

I requested for a call back and it will be in a few hours at 8:00AM and I specifically asked for the manager to speak to me -- the one that can decide to give me a 7-month reimbursement.

Dadanak ang dugo mamyang umaga. Feeling ko dugo ko yun, sa alta presyon!

Tooth Fairy, here!

My father asked me if my dentist is a sadist.  I've been dreading this since day one.  I got two molars and two pre-molars excavated last weekend, ALL at the same time.  Brave me! :)

My good friend DD, upon sharing this picture to her told me:

Big Fat Tooth, originally uploaded by Dahon...

"You are a Libra! Ka sexy sang teeth mo!"  She is such an aquarian, calling this tooth sexy - blood stained and all =).  My teeth are so big, look at my molar compared to the pre-molar. It practically consumed a fourth of my gums! I almost died in the dental chair, true story (all my dental stories are true!).  My doctor sprayed my mouth some liquid anasthesia (aside from the injection) and I didn't hear the part: "Do not swallow ha!" And I think I did swallow.  My throat got numbed and I started to panic because I cannot feel my breath and I blurted, "Doctor, di po ako makahinga!"  Doctor told me, "May ilong ka naman, bakit di ka makahinga?"  Light bulb! Shit, oo nga no?  Excavation went on smoothly, I'm a brave, brave girl! I'm proud of me, I'm patting myself on the back.

Happy Valentine's to everyone. Let your lives be filled with love and ice cream.

I Am Dorothy.

Warning: temper flare inducing post. I have had a very bad experience with Globe (Expecting a link? Why the fuck would I, I hope Smart and Sun will beat them to dust) ever since the universe big banged, and there was a time I wish Globe exploded with it. I thought I've had enough of these parasites, but no. My current company has a tie-up with Globe and the place I am residing set up an exclusive phone line only for Globe. How it gets to be here where I could be a freaking model of Globe products, I cannot understand. I am fated to be with Globe and this is my karma.

So last week, I decided I really need to buy a new phone no matter what, and having consulted with many, many people ("Tatlong buwan mo na yang tinatanong rose, ano ba, bumili ka na") I figured, heck, as my company will reimburse the monthly fees, it would have to be Globe but I'll buy it with a plan so my unit will be sold at a discounted price and I won't have to spend as much - god, I'm such a cheapskate, I could sell my principles in a heartbeat. 

So off, the bitch and I went to the Hub.  I inquired for the phone I wanted, and asked if I could get it with a plan and the saleslady said, yes they have a promo, they even have a deferred payment scheme to go with it. Happy! I'm beginning to forgive Globe for all its sins, ha ha, or so I thought. Guess what, they didn't have a stock. Disappointed, I asked when would that be available. She said not sure, they don't have a timeline, maybe next week, maybe longer. She consulted many times with her co-workers about our questions. She suggested I could submit the requirements now and they'll put it in the queue. 

Pogie asked me if I brought the requirements for the line (ID, billing statement, etc). The saleslady asked if she can take a look at it. I gave her my credit card billing statement and I was reaching for my ID when she suddenly said, "Maybe we have a stock for you." Um, let's note that I really do use my credit card (paperless society!) and my billing statement at that time contains katas ng India charges.  Hmmm. Soooo...this is how Globe works. Pogie whispered "they check kasi the purchasing power." Purchasing power my foot, she pre-judged me! Saleslady told us we can be back in an hour or two and she'll have the phone ready by then. Okay, great, yeah sure, but I was rattled! Appalled! Aghast!

Let's rewind. I understand this purchasing power criteria because oh yes, Globe has to make sure the people who's gonna subscribe to a line with a medium-end phone has to be capable of paying the not-so-cheap monthly fees.  But they turned me down before I can even present my qualifications! It's not my fault I was with a friend who looks patay-gutom, and is practically half-dressed! Peace Pogs! I'm really suspecting it's how we look. Pogie was wearing a sando in a mall, ladies and gentlemen. Um, I was wearing a slipper, but in a girl's world they're known as flipflops, and my hair is tied in a knot in a messy-I-don't-want-to-describe-it way but really, so what?  I'm still a customer.

For the record, the saleslady who attended to us was helpful and was polite, and I guess she was just doing what she was told to do on why she initially told us there were no stocks available. She was later attentive because she saw my "purchasing power." Maybe because now, I'm a paying customer.   I hate the way I was treated. Really, even if in the end I got my phone.  While going home, I was not even excited to tinker with it.

Anyway, to comfort me in this distressing situation, Pogie convinced me to buy a new pair of shoes.  No one could convince me to use my "purchasing power" like Pogs. It's been a long time since I last bought a perky kind of shoes. Photo above taken from my new phone, yep, the same phone that triggered me to sell my principles and then later to rile about discrimination.  I could foresee many bloggable moments with Globe. Oh humanity, give me strength, give me patience, give me understanding!

Non-sequitur

How can you be both result-oriented and process-oriented at the same time? In my world, you can't be both, how could you be both, how can you serve two masters at one time without being unfaithful to the other, how can you possibly not consider the mental stress in development, how dare you compare it to routine tasks that do not need mental activity, when you can close your eyes and can do it without needing your heart, your mind, a task that needs no passion? How dare anyone take for granted and abuse our youth? And how dare we let them?

In a Japanese Meeting

Characters: Him, Other1, and many others. Him, Other1 are Japanese.

Him: (Nihonggo something) desu ka. Sono ato (Nihonggo) ..deshou ne.
Other1: (Nihonggo). So desu nee....
Him: (Nihonggo, never ending Nihonggo) genkakanri (lightning fast Nihonggo here)
Other1: Hai.
Him concerned, suddenly considers me-the-pathetic-nihonggo-learner: Rose-san, do you understand what genkakanri means?
Me the lost watashi: Um, (in a lowest voice possible), entrance?!
Him bows his head, smiles, and controls laugh: Genkan ja nai yo! Not entrance! Genkakanri! Genka. It means cost management. (Smiles, but controlled laughter threatening to burst almost inviting others to join in the fun..)
Me: Oh.

He asserts, fast-talks, brings home the bacon, and finds a perfect time to embarrass me. I. So. Love. This. Man.